Humor

I am not very big on the forwarded emails thing but I do participate every once in a while. I got one that I just had to giggle about - you can call me a nerd if you want - but they are funny little "one" liners. I have heard a lot of them before but I needed to see them again. Hope you enjoy!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
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When fish are in schools sometimes they take debate.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
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The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
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To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
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A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
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A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.
He became a hardened criminal.
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Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
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The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
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If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
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A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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A bicycle can't stand alone, it is two tired.
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A will, is a dead giveaway.
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A chicken crossing the road:
poultry in motion.
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When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
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You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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Local Area Network in Australia:
The LAN down under.
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A boiled egg, is hard to beat.
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He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
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