Monday, July 23, 2007

Humor

I am not very big on the forwarded emails thing but I do participate every once in a while. I got one that I just had to giggle about - you can call me a nerd if you want - but they are funny little "one" liners. I have heard a lot of them before but I needed to see them again. Hope you enjoy!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
-----------------------------------------------------
When fish are in schools sometimes they take debate.
-----------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
--- --------------------------------------------------
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
------------------------------------------------------
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
------------------------------------------------------
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
------------------------------------------------------
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
-------------------------------------------------------
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.
He became a hardened criminal.
-------------------------------------------------------
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
--------------------------------------------------------
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
----------------------------------------------------------
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
-----------------------------------------------------------
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A bicycle can't stand alone, it is two tired.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A will, is a dead giveaway.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A chicken crossing the road:
poultry in motion.
--------------------------------------------------------------
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
----------------------------------------------------------------
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Local Area Network in Australia:
The LAN down under.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A boiled egg, is hard to beat.
------------------------------------------------------------------
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
----------------------------------------- --------------------------
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
---------------------------------------- --------------------------

No comments: