Friday, May 8, 2009


So we are definitely at the point with Hannah that we are looking for the right kinds of punishments for Hannah.

Time Out.
Corner Sitting.
Taking Toys Away.
Natural Consequences.
Trashing Items.

All kinds are out there. I could probably go on page after page on each of these punishments, how we are trying them, what we think of them, what works best for our kids, what we plan to do in the future, blah blah blah but I have a feeling you don't really want to know all that. (If you do, just let me know and I will see what I can do for you! he he!)

No matter the punishment we choose, we always try to be sure the punishment fits the crime and that she knows the punishment ahead of time so that she actually chooses to be punished. No Surprises.

We have found that one of the punishments Hannah responds well to is natural consequences.

I heard a talk on this one time and one of the examples was if you have an older child that will not get up for school what do you do? Well, you get them an alarm, be sure they know how to use it, be sure that it is set and if they do not wake up in time to get ready before school - the natural consequence to that is they will have to get ready on the bus or at the bus stop. You just need to have their things for them waiting in a bag as they MUST get out the door on time. Another example would be if you tell a child not to run on the sidewalk and they do, then fall and scrape up their knee. The Natural Consequence to disobedience.

We have a knickknack shelf in our dining room that Hannah knows she is not allowed to play with. One day she did. Things fell. Some special items broke (none irreplaceable) and it just hit me when I saw it.. I just bent down and started to cry. Boy, seeing me crying over it was enough punishment for her. She cried and cried and sulked most of the evening. She was heartbroken that she made me cry. We talked to her about it but she was not punished in any other way and I am not sure she has ever touched that shelf again.

Anyway, on to what happened earlier this week. We are having a hard time explaining to Hannah that she is a little rough with Justus even when she does not mean to be. Or she is not quite aware of his unbalance as much as she should be. Well, Hannah and Justus were playing on the floor in the living room and she went by him playing and caused him to fall over right where the pillows were not. He hit his head on the floor and just sobbed!! Hannah, then sobbed too. She was so upset that she hurt him when she was trying to play with him. She did not get another punishment since she was SO upset (I am not sure which child had more tears). She just had a little talk about her actions with Daddy on the front porch as he comforted her. It was a sweet scene, actually. (Justus was NOT physically hurt, by the way, at all.)


JoniDH said...

How sweet - we were talking about this very thing one day this week at lunch and I said, for me, the "talking" about it always hurt me more than any spanking - not the same with every child but that's the way I was.

I LOVE the picture!

Grandmom said...

I still think it hurts mommy and daddy more than it does the child at times. You're doing a good job in training. Picture of Hannah and daddy is so sweet. Just a back view tells there is a serious discussion going on between the two of them.

Wendy said...

Poor baby...She loves her baby brother! Hanah just showed us all she has compassion. A very admirable trait to have at any age!
Thank you Hannah! You are a special girl!!!
i love you
aunt wendy

Betty said...

Wonderful picture - says a lot about Hannah that she was so upset about her brother. Discipline / punishment is always tough - but Mindy and Chris are doing the tough along with the fun. Parenthood is not always fun. So proud of the way the two of you as parents! Hannah and Justus are blessed.